My pain in the ass is still hanging around.
It feels today like nerve pain.
I took a long bath to try and stretch muscles in a warmer situation. I don’t know if that has triggered more nerve pain. I have no idea what’s going on honestly.
i just emailed my doctor and am looking for direction.
This feels so interwoven and complicated. It affects so much. I had to take a pain pill, my last one from the previous prescription refill.
No one totally seems to know what’s going on. I feel I have to constantly be quarterbacking things.
i just read an amazing article on Medium about a woman who thought she was going crazy like her mom. Her dad refused to accept what doctors were saying, just handing her psych meds. She felt it was related to a head injury, but no one believed her or took XRays.
They finally found a doctor that believed her, did XRays and was shocked she was still functional. Her head was massively tilted and not sitting correctly on her spine. THrough chiropractic and craniosacral therapy, she has recovered.
Her dad was her advocate and she also was her own advocate. I’ve been trying to advocate for myself for decades, trying to get to the bottom of my pain, haha no pun intended.
The pain medicine is helping a little right now. I just spent five minutes sobbing. I’ll probably cry more when I’m done writing.
I am holding a lot of stress in my body right now with this bio relative in town. I feel tense and alert, concerned, weary, alert. I know that is affecting my pain; I know it is.
I feel better after crying.
I talked w/ Jay this morning about all this. I said the Headspace stuff talks about managing your stress and transforming it. It doesn’t say you won’t have stress; that’s actually a weird goal. So I’m managing this really well, but my body is keeping the score.
I wonder if I could get a nerve block of some kind.
I can’t believe things are getting worse right now. I have never had this much nerve pain before and had it last this long. It’s unsettling, and I’m having to work hard not to panic on top of it all.
Back to my tools and notes from Kay.
Thank God literally for pain medicine.