I spent an hour helping mom clean out two drawers in her dresser.
I took a bag of things home, some paperwork and mostly a smattering of all kinds of things. It gave her significantly more room. I’m looking forward to her continuing to have less stuff and more space, less clutter and more sanity.
I don’t think her husband can really help her. He doesn’t feel well and hasn’t for a very long time. He has suffered a great deal and had a rotten childhood. I don’t really need to know how to feel towards him other than I don’t trust him to do what’s best for mom.
Something definitely shifted as I am going through the Transforming Anger pack again in Headspace. I like the idea of having anger out at a distance that you observe. Then you spend time on the out breath with it, and just keep it detached from you somewhat. It makes it less like something you have to engage with, like do or die.
Like I’ve said before, I’ve gotten bored with the drama and anger.
However, I will say that this was a situation where it was genuinely okay to have fight or flight responses going off. I had to go into crazyland to extract mom and it took hundreds of hours and much work and help to make it happen. Many divine things fell into place to make it so.
But it’s better now and as Kay would say, always bring whatever it is you’re talking about up into the present. Yes, this was hard but look how good it is now.
And it is good. Mom is much, much happier, enjoys a smaller place and is just doing a lot better. I don’t fully understand all her issues, but she’s better. She gave me a big hug when I left and was crying. She cries alot around me. She said she’s so grateful for me and stroked my back. It seems she feels she was rescued. I guess she was.
It would be awful to be estranged from a child. I’m glad it didn’t get to that point with us, but that’s because of being changed inside, boundaries and divine intervention.
*****
I saw both PT and massage today. I’m landing the planes regarding my health and pelvis. I got a few more answers today and the massage is always amazing. PT cleared me to start running again. That’ll be awful and slow, but I’m excited. I have a solid plan for stretching and strengthening. I’m doing a lot of stretching and need more strengthening. That’s always been my weakest part because it involves pain and discipline and I’ve had too much pain.