I went to a family birthday party for a friend’s son. This family really focuses on quality activities for their son: music, dancing, nature, education, reading, activity. They’re very wholesome and educated, both. It’s a lovely home to be in.
The group that had gathered all sang Happy Birthday at one point. After we were finished, this boy’s mom said, “As you all sang, I could hear each of your voices in the song. It reminded me that each of you plays a special role in our son’s life, a role no one else can fill.” She had a hard time finishing and started to choke up, as many of us did. It was deeply meaningful.
I’ve rarely made an effort to be with people and regretted it. When my desire to isolate or get to inbred or ingrown gets too strong, I realize I need to get out and be with people. I need to be outside. That’s what I felt today.
*****
I haven’t felt good at all the last few days. I had some struggles w/ anxiety this afternoon, just worried again that I had another big infection like in December. I had to do some meditating and tapping to pull out of that. I started to practice gratitude as well. It made a huge difference. I started to envision my future, my memories of the past. I just decided to feel good about where I’m at and continue to believe whatever issues I have will continue to get worked out. I started to feel better right away. It’s hard to have chronic health issues unresolved and then get a normal cold or illness and you just feel anxious about it all.
It meant though that Jay and I had most of the afternoon together. We went on a long walk. We went to the grocery store. We had dinner from some soup I made. We sat and talked and listened to music in the living room. We talked to his bio mom.
It was just the kind of day I needed and didn’t realize it.
Why don’t we give ourselves permission to have these kinds of days?
Why is it always the list of projects instead?
I am making mental note of the fact that we just listened to music and talked and processed and thought about life and our future and the kids and our past and future travels and our families and friends and changes. And Hazel was sitting here in the middle of it all along w/ a lovely candle and our flowers on the table. Quiet outside w/ the snow.
I do hope my stomach calms down and next week is better. I finally took some pain meds for my pelvic pain and some for my headache.
My brother went out to our folks’ house to get instructions on how to do mom’s shots while the family is gone. That was pretty cool that he was able to do that. I told him I couldn’t go today. He went ahead and went.
Spokane, WA