I’m on a decent schedule now. Working hard on that.
I figure I’m healthy enough to be doing things on a regular basis. That’s what I need to be doing.
I walked this morning then did yoga and my strengthening exercises. My hip is hurting a lot. I made an appointment to see my regular doctor. I hope things are okay. It’s definitely getting worse. I’m grateful I don’t have pelvic pain currently.
I picked up some boots I had resoled and then spent time at work. I printed out the syllabus for the photography class. I wonder if I’m the only one who will do that.
I met w/ the functional nutritionist again and think there could really be something to the nut/seed and soy issues that she picked up with her testing. I’m realizing that I’ve really OD’ed on nuts and seeds especially in replacement for meat. I can see how that might have contributed to my pelvic issues in the rectal stuff if I’m sensitive to it and everything is just inflamed. Weird and awesome but crazy.
I read an article today about how life is in Iraq right now for people accused of being sympathetic to ISIS. They have no trial to speak of, no defense and are being executed based on almost no evidence at all. Their lives are miserable, and their country is a shambles. Millions of people live without any hope, safety, physical health or happiness.
It is somewhat arrogant for me to find petty things to just be grumpy about. My car is cold when I get in it because we don’t have a garage to park in. My hip hurts. I miss my kids. I wish I had a job I loved more. On and on.
It doesn’t work a lot to just guilt yourself into being happy, but I think it’s reasonable to be aware of the reality of the rest of the world and the many things I can be grateful for. It’s not a big stretch to say I should do that; it’s sort of the kindest thing to do, considering. I hope someday I have enough resources to help people in need more than I can now.
*****
Tonight we had our tiny might community group over. I wanted to see everyone and just process the holidays together. Just have fun and eat some food. That’s what we did.
I always have a little tension around these events as I feel alone getting them ready. Sometimes it feels like they aren’t valued that much, and it’s a lot of work to get people together. I guess I need to let that go and just do what I think is right.
Jay made contact with his bio aunt today through the DNA website. He asked me to send his aunt an email which I did. That’s just been revealed recently. So we talked to everyone about that. We talked about the faith deconstruction we’re all doing, some of our more recent experiences and how we’re all handling that. People are doing really well overall I think. I think we’re all moving through these various stages and now maybe can see what’s next.
It’s not about just being right in a different way. It’s finding a new way to be and then be that good thing in the world. You can’t be healthy in that way if you aren’t healthy yourself.
*****
I just got a call from the guy at the coin store where my parents have some gold. I was going to call him today but forgot w/ the group meeting tonight, my hip issues/pain, cooking, work and photo stuff. He said he’s concerned about their activity around the account. I’m really glad he called. I feel like I’m going crazy around all this. My parents have gold, probably shouldn’t be driving, mom has regular crying fits and meltdowns, I’ve already had to seize some of her money to get it safe from her… on it goes. It reminds me of the craziness that happened around my dad. I can’t believe it sometimes, that these are my parents. But then I look at my aunts and my kids and my in-laws and they could just as easily be my parents if things had been different, and they’re all relatively normal. It just is what it is. They are really crazy, really crazy.
On that note, off to soak and read and head to bed.