The sexual harassment stuff moves forward slowly.
On the front end, my life is being impacted and altered while the perp continues his normal routines. That will be changed before long. For once, I’m trying to just be okay with waiting and not throw a temper tantrum.
Today is the most angry I’ve been. I believe Jay is as well. It’s obvious the person in question doesn’t care about us, me. He’s concerned about his future and how this is impacting him only. So much for all the nice stuff we did for him.
So I just avoid the situation and am doing all my work. I have a ton of stuff to do for the photography class. It’s overwhelming but getting it done.
I’m having some kind of reaction to having brought a giant-ass basket of wood inside, but the basket had black mold on it. I just realized what was going on and moved it outside, but it’ll take a while for things to clear out. I have a splitting headache and chest pains.
The stuff with sexual harassment is weird. It’s different than abuse. I’m infuriated and angry at how this is put onto mostly women and even as victims, we still have to adapt and adjust to make it go away. I can’t just do what I want to do, yell it from the rooftops. I have to just wait for this process to crawl forward.
In my case, I know justice is coming, but slowly.
It just takes a long, long time of centuries and epochs and I already don’t have that kind of time, baby.
I did talk w/ one of the girls last night and plan to do the other later, probably this weekend. It sucks, but she was supportive and appropriately angry.
I am pretty okay in terms of getting really destructive and stuck in my head, just doing distracting behaviors. When we went to dinner last night, I was pretty set in my view of things: this isn’t my fault, I didn’t cause it, it’s not my problem on how it will get better for this person, I can’t fix it, it’s my job to stay healthy and focused and resilient. I just don’t feel any responsibility to help this person fix his life. I also feel strong in how this unfolded for me. This is all new for me.