What a strange victory.
I started taking a small, daily dose of Prozac last night.
I took Prozac in 2016 for about six months. It helped me stabilize the slide down as I was dealing with serious depression and the adrenal fatigue. When I had a hard time walking up stairs. When I slept every afternoon.
I am just starting to fully understand what it’s like to have anxiety that never quite leaves you alone. I’m gaining the skills to see the anxiety, learn how to change my thoughts and get healthier.
But I’m tired.
It’s been a long year with significant family stress regarding my parents, their health, living situation and finances. There have been other stressors that my mind likes to play with. We’re still mending our marriage. I have on/off pelvic health issues and recovery from the car accident. I have other family and friend issues that crop up.
Yeah, I’m tired.
It feels good to be finally reaching out for real help, not just letting my body take me to the doctor for pain and aches. I haven’t let myself be less than superhuman about recovery.
It’s time for that phase to end.
Yesterday, it did.
*****
Today I also saw a doctor about my pelvic flares. She better explained how our pelvis works and functions, how complex it is.
She said I was doing an incredible job of managing my pain with a combination of internal PT, the external skeletal/muscle work with the chiropractor and some occasional pain management.
She took names of the providers I use and felt I’d come in to help her with people she can send her clients to. It’s a common problem, and she feels limited in her ability to really help people. I gave her some new tools. That feels pretty amazing.
I guess this was the first thing this week to really make me realize how valuable this experience has been to others. I’ve helped other people by being the pioneer I am, the curious seeker of answers and help. It made me feel good about this journey I’ve been on. I can feel my body relaxing and unwinding.
I went out and had some food and a drink mid-day to celebrate taking care of myself.
Things are changing.