So we got in another fight yesterday.
I talked about how we continue to have these same struggles over and over.
I said that I’m tired of the same issues that we keep trying to resolve and figure out.
I don’t want to be connected to the business and find it hard and embarrassing. It's hard to see Jay struggle like he does, to keep thrashing away. It's hard to keep rolling a ball up the hill and have it roll back down again.
We keep having issues with employees, how to manage marketing, etc. I told him I once again feel really disconnected and as long as this is the way our life is, that’s probably how it will be. We’re roommates once again, me sleeping downstairs and not having sex. Just working through the latest drama and trauma that keeps us up at night and not making any real forward progress that I can see. Just trying to dig out of the latest hole we’re in.
We are both good at looking good and hiding in plain sight.
We say we’re fine but we’re not fine at all.
Jay says he can’t live the rest of his life without being able to express himself sexually, and I can’t live my life without having any kind of connection.
im·passe
ˈimˌpas,imˈpas/
noun
a situation in which no progress is possible, especially because of disagreement; a deadlock.
"the current political impasse"
synonyms: deadlock, dead end, stalemate, standoff
Yeah.
That.