We met with some friends this morning for coffee. Jay is in town now, so nice to add him to the mix.
We enjoy these friends, have a lot in common, some things not the same, like any good friends. They talk alot however, quite a bit. They rarely ask questions. I think they feel so urgent about how they feel, it seems like a waste of time to listen to someone else.
I notice when I start talking around people like that, they instantly look elsewhere, look at their phone, a sign, pick-up a menu, anything but listen and ask a follow-up question that shows they were listening.
I used to be like that so I know how it is. I was good at that.
It's only since I've changed my views on many things that it's bled into how I am around people. What's changed?
- I don't feel I need to convince people of what I have to say or my opinions
- I don't need to save anyone
- Everyone has their own journey; I have no idea what most of it is
- I am not a savior of people and the world
- I have my own life to live
- I am here to enjoy my life and help others and get to know the divine
- Sometimes that's interesting to people, sometimes not
- I can stop being friends with someone that isn't respectful of me or kind to me
- I'm not perfect
- I rarely know exactly what is right for me on a given day; how can I know what's right for someone else?
All of this has allowed me to have a live and let live attitude about a lot more stuff, more people, more conversations.
I felt worn out by all this talking and listening so spent time with myself in the afternoon to get ready for dinner w/ more talkers. It felt good to know my boundaries and myself, to give myself the time I needed and not worry about what anyone was thinking. It helped.