I am still shocked at the lack of presence I see now that's been a pattern of my life for decades. Wherever I am, I am thinking about what comes next… I mean, wow. I had no idea.
I wonder how long I’ve been doing that. When did it creep in. When did I start to get that unhappy that I began thinking about dinner and what I’d drink that night.
I have always had a low level of anxiety about what I spend my time doing. I was diagnosed last year with Generalized Anxiety Disorder last year, among other things. I always think I'm missing the boat, that whatever I'm doing in the moment isn't the right things.
At the conference, Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now was quoted a few times. We always think whatever it is we’re doing in that moment isn’t good enough. Yep, that's me. Is this very moment I'm having good enough? My anxiety for years has been telling me no. Something else is coming that’s better. It’s bizarre.
That’s profound. Is this very moment you’re having good enough? My anxiety for years has been telling me no. Something else is coming that’s better. It’s bizarre.
"All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." Eckhart Tolle
So how to counteract that.
1. When I’m sensing that I’m not present, yank myself to the moment and do some grounding activity. This is what I’m wearing. This is who I’m with. This is my emotion. Get back into my body and the moment.
2. Be grateful for that very moment.
I have much work to do.