What am I learning this week about mental health?
I'm learning that trauma therapy is returning me to a more stable place, mentally and emotionally. At the same time, other mental health tools and activities are playing an equally strong role. One of my favorite graphics on this is the Mental Health All-Stars graphic by HoneyDill. I also have it on my Graphics page.
Both are key to recovery and maintenance. I talk about this some on the Change page.
I'm choosing to do trauma therapy until I'm done. It's best if I also invest in lifelong maintenance of mental health, all things that aren't particularly hard to do and many are fun.
I feel I've probably reached some kind of tipping point in therapy where I am more functional and returning to normal life. If I had to stop now, what I've gained would benefit me the rest of my life and I don't anticipate huge dips like before.
However, I have a sense there is much more work to be done, and I'm committed to this year being another year of therapy and growth.
Speaking of which, I drive to Moscow today. It's rainy; I don't think I have any photos in the rain.
****
Today in therapy we talked alot about the ego. We need the ego to help us stay motivated to do things, help create a sense of identity and other useful things. The problem is the ego gets distorted along the way and then takes us off in wrong directions in terms of thinking and feeling.
I need activities that clean up the ego, get it in its correct spot, working well and be more connected to my True Self. That happens through activities that create new tracks in the brain like mediation, prayer, yoga, breathing, awareness, mindfulness.
We discussed my family and did thirty long minutes of EMDR. We revisited the years where I felt I needed to start taking care of my entire family and abruptly stopped being a kid. I kept doing kid things, but I became hyper-alert that something was wrong with my family.
I remember feeling shame, embarrassment and a great deal of anger. I didn't like hiding so many things. I started to lose confidence in myself and began to withdraw more. I started feeling guilty doing things with friends, like I was letting my family down. I became more reclusive and confused about being a young adult.
I'm still pretty sure had I seriously addressed these things as a young child, I would have had to leave. My Mom wasn't supported herself enough to leave my Dad. Her confidence was also worn down. It's good for me to imagine, however, taking that option and if anything, going to the house where my adult self lives.
How this settles into my body continues to bring back a sense of reconnection with myself, with my body and a new future.
It seemed fitting that it was raining off and on during the drive home today. I also chased golden light for quite a while.
Nature operates on a massive scale of renewal and rebirth, everyday, all day. I'm glad to join in that energy and see my life transforming as well.