We're heading to visit our children in Seattle. They are two of the most beautiful people I know. Just that.
We're also going to meet Jay's bio dad and possibly other family members. This, all from doing DNA kits for Christmas.
We got out on time and without arguing. We adjusted our time for an earlier meeting so we could hit the pass sooner. I slept some. We had a few moments but we worked through them w/o triggering. I could used to this new normal.
It seems small, but to live life year after year with someone without growing to despire them, I'd say that's still a tall order for a human being. We aren't good at deepening, it seems. We tend to mellow and grow shallower at times, giving up with the challenge of growing the skills needed to understand the various layers to another human and ourselves as the years go by.
So driving a car across a state with a mountain pass, snow, seeing our kids, figuring out meals, navigating traffic, luggage, gifts and schedules, all while not erupting into our worst selves while doing it, this seems like a rainbow-sized miracle to me.
*****
Kay has said that our energy and stress decreasing will help our children. The kids have observed us for years arguing and being tense. They have their own reactions to it, and I believe the years of it have contributed to their own anxieties.
To show up and not have their be palatable tension, this feels like everything.
We're improving and things and changing. It's getting better for us. It's getting better for them.