Today was a therapy day.
Today we focused on some of the dark, shocking family news I received earlier this week. I don’t feel it’s impacting me personally, but it’s confirming and shocking.
It’s always been a bit bizarre to feel disgusted by the way some of the successful people in my family have truly lived. I hated the patriarchy and the cloying way everyone acted around the men in our family. They were the stars of the show.
We talked in therapy about how you can end up a narcissist. How did our family get that way? What conditions allowed for the men to all grow up to be that way? How did the women get out and survive? Did they survive?
We talked about our marriage and how to have that continue to improve. Playfulness and passion, all above the line activities. Stability and security don’t generate much energy in a marriage. Jay and I ended up talking alot about this over dinner later. What would it look like for us to be less stressed and more playful?
I found some great Cmas gifts for the little kids still in my life and had a dark drive home after the sun went down. We did date night and talked a lot later too about sex and our sexual life together. We’re getting there.
I am so grateful to have Kay as a resource for this journey of healing I’ve been on. I absolutely don’t know where I’d be today without it. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I was dying. Now, I’m not. That’s about as dramatic as it gets.