Some of the biggest news is that my pelvic flares are settling down.
The last time I went to pelvic PT his past week, I ended up crying on the way home. It’s so exhausting to have ongoing chronic pain, I can’t even.
I’ve been looking at getting some nerve pain meds and trying to go in that direction.
I asked her a lot of questions about pedundal nerve pain and realizing that could be an issue right now.
In thinking through all that’s going on, I definitely think it is.
So while in Seattle, I worked hard on meditating. I worked on relaxing, on choosing to think better and differently. I ran twice and stretched. Also, I backed off on any kind of foam rolling of my pelvis especially and didn’t do any of the lacrosse ball rolling.
Based on what the PT person said, I could have been activating my pedundal nerve this whole time by doing that.
I am so grateful to be getting this figured out. Having pain in your pelvis and having to adjust just sitting and standing is exhausting. It makes you feel a little crazy.
It gives me a lot more empathy for everyone that has these issues.
Overall, an interesting day though. I had an MRI on my pelvis that wasn’t pleasant. I just sort of tried to take it in stride and not freak out. I’m up writing and had a normal day even though it could have knocked me for a loop years ago.
I’ve also felt oddly hopeful today. I want to plan for things ahead and start setting goals and striving toward them. I want to be resilient and move through hard things without having them get me down.
I want to settle into a healthier pattern of life, less impulse-control issues and more steady pursuit of goals and dreams.
I’ve never let myself dream.
I’ve had urges and a sense of what to do but felt I was always in danger of them not coming true. My feeling was sortof, why bother?
As I feel myself getting stronger, I’m more willing to try new things and not have a default setting to hopelessness.
Just say no to hopelessness.
Encourage your hopes, not your fears. That’s on the front of a card that John gave me a few months ago. I want that to be my new future.
When I did tags for this post, I noticed I’ve never tagged anything with “hope.”
Time for that to change.