Sitting in the living room of our friend’s beautiful home. We both woke up at 5:45 this am. That gave me a chance to see the moon shining west over Lake Washington. Wow… stunning. I took a few crappy photos but enjoyed just being outside a bit breathing in the air and enjoying the scene.
I had a little to drink then went back to sleep for another three hours. Jay stayed up and will probably nap this afternoon. We seriously may not leave here for much. Pretty darn cozy house and then of course, the kittens. I’m struggling to type w/ one of the kitts on my lap but worth it #snuggs
I am grateful for the meditation options this week w/ HS. It’s helping me be more honest with my issues still remaining in myself and in our marriage. I have wounds that haven’t healed but also attitudes and ways of being that aren’t healthy. Somehow, we have to navigate this going forward. I guess we can brainstorm on that ourselves and also get some help.
It’s been wonderful to be w/ our adult kids and the new son-in-law. It’s a joy to see how much the new couple loves each other. They have settled into an apartment as has El. My heart feels full for all them as they build their lives.
One of the most profound things I uncovered in the last week was a quote from Falling Upward by Rohr. I dug into that book for a quote for the Advent workshop we did last week:
*****
This is our first holiday away from Spokane since 1995 when we moved back. Even then, we headed back from Bremerton for holidays.
I’m tired of doing things the way we have. I’m almost to the point of wanting to wake up with nothing to do or anyone to be with than keep doing what we’ve always done. It’s felt obligatory and like what we have to do to keep the parents and also kids happy. It’s been an insane amount of work and a lot of responsibility. But it’s family.
I have enjoyed some of it. I probably get more from it than I realize. I see it right now as a lot of work. But this year’s holiday with new in-laws was fun. I enjoyed having an activity to do and not just sit around. It felt good to bring a puzzle, make pie, contribute and be welcomed.
But the biggest surprise was Jay and I. We went from not talking very much and snapping at each other to hanging out in Fremont last night, eating out, drinking, doing wild things back at the house. Very different than when we started the week.
The difference?
Almost zero stress.
Wow. What a difference. I’d like to get back to more of that. I miss him. I miss having a marriage.
I think this is what a lot of people go through. I’ll be glad when it’s all behind us.
Home now, and remembering our amazing week/weekend and new holiday traditions. I think we’re going to have to start heading over there more for these kinds of things. I’m ready for changes.
I also felt the stress start to come over me coming into town. I don’t want it.
Lake Kachess, Snoqualmie Pass, WA