Did a pelvic pain session today w/ the amazing PT person. We looked over results from the MRI and agreed it looked pretty decent. No major issues, just some lingering edema from whatever has happened this past fall to create swelling.
She feels it was a great report and I’m improving.
I told Jay that I almost started having panic attacks again, thinking I might have something major wrong again. It appears it is all subsiding, and there isn’t anything structurally wrong with my pelvis. She did say that it wouldn’t show if I have any damaged nerves, but structures are sound.
I drove to Moscow to see Kay and touch base on all the trauma and healing.
She said today, “You just spent a minute telling me about your Mom in what would normally take half an hour. Hurray!” I was so encouraged she gave me some thumbs up props. And I am detaching more and just starting to feel hopeful for my future. I really want to get better and improve, and it’s starting to pay off.
She also said that when I feel compulsive about gift-giving or being too helpful, look deeper into what could be driving that. Today when I was talking about over-gifting our friends we stayed with, I felt emotions related to being lovable, respectable, competent and one other one. Those are all good things, but not necessarily just kind.
We talked about how One’s can go into overdrive especially if they have a strong Two wing which I do. So keep it in check and be proportionate. Also consider who you’re giving all these things to. Some people can be really overwhelmed by it. I can think of one friend that gives gifts about the way I do. We’re both design-oriented, super aware and observant and also somewhat OCD about similar things. So I can go overboard with her… that makes sense. Manage it with everyone else. I have worried my kids can’t compete or feel they have to in this area. Both have made some little comments along those lines. So reign it in.
All this was super helpful in terms of life learning and adapting without feeling as much stress and anxiety as I used to when I was just trying to survive.
The other thing I mentioned was that I’m starting to look at my other relationships and I don’t have consistent big issues with people, even older people. This really is about my parents. It’s okay to say that and acknowledge that then have a plan and stick to it. They’ve been really hard. It’s okay to have boundaries, to not include them in my plans for the future and just let it be what it is. Detach with love.
A good session and what therapy seems to be about.