Huge changes for me in having the afternoon to realize I’m starting to know what I like or want.
I was feeling frustrated and realized I wanted to take a shower. I did. Then I tried to feel in my soul what I really wanted instead of just being angry. I realized how much the rhythm of the water coming over me meant to my body and my mind. It felt like I was making a connection between what I wanted in my body and my mind was allowing it.
I started asking myself what I wanted the rest of the day. I realized I wanted and needed a long shower. I wanted to get out in the evening. I didn’t want to stay home all evening. I wanted to dress up.
This was huge for me, as big as my time last weekend at the nursery buying plants for the back porch.
These have all been such huge steps into reintegrating myself back into my body. They seem small and I guess everyone else takes it for granted.
I feel deeply grateful that things are changing.