BIg decisions made this weekend.
I was gearing up to register for a Creative Writing Certificate program. The deadline said July 1 which is tomorrow (this did garner a grammar discussion in my mind… is it by July 1 or just, July 1. If it’s just July 1, that could mean that you could turn things in at anytime on July 1. I decided to not start off my cover letter with a discourse on appropriate grammar on the application).
Turns out, I didn’t need to be splitting hairs over grammar as I decided not to apply.
It’s been three years since I stepped down into a deep, dark depression. It’s taken three years to climb back out.
I always assumed I’d go back and get additional training, a master’s etc. once I felt more stable, if I did. That time has come and as I’ve evaluated programs, I decided to opt for the shorter course route which is a certificate program, about half the time and 1/4 the cost of a masters.
But then, not.
Why…
The last two weeks are some of the first weeks in the last three years I’ve been pain free and have had energy enough to exercise, be present and show up fully for life.
It feels like I’m just now starting to see how things might look. It felt like going back to school was a step backwards, yet another delay.
I spent time going through old articles and essays, items printed twenty years ago or more. My first piece and the subsequent artwork that accompanied them, all pre-Internet. It made me wistful to just start writing again, no more excuses or roadblocks. No more learning and not applying.
I also found notes for the many courses now that I’ve taken, notes and stories I’ve yet to go back to and review. Do I need more right now?
I decided I’d join a writing group that meets weekly and probably hire some folks when need be for editing and manuscript proofing. I need input and mentorship and the entire spectrum of help. I feel if I can get things out there, I might be able to then also get a better sense of what I need.
At any rate, my stress went down and I had a decent day as a result.
Along with additional energy, I’m realizing I’m tired and now, the familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed.
I have much more on my books now that I’m back to mostly full energy. What to do and how to spend my time? The stress of too much to get done and wanting to start writing and doing things with my photos.
One of the notes I found today from an old teacher was her saying I have a lot to offer. I need to just start writing. That was two years ago. I haven’t done much since then except start my private blog, this thing. I guess that’s definitely something.
So on we go to what’s next starting tomorrow.
Jay and I had a blast going to the comedy club last night too and drinks and food afterwards. Sweet times w/ the bae.