We had our group tonight. What a healing place it is. A room full of people who’re seeking to lead better lives and be connected to God in that.
No one pushing an agenda.
No one pushing beliefs.
No one questioning another’s comments or state of life.
Just acceptance and joy in our uniqueness in our journeys. A mutual exploration of life, being human, desiring to know God and to also unpack where we’ve all come from and where we’re going.
As we were sitting together, the oldest member of our group began to share about an experience that was very disrespectful to her. The way the situation came about was the result of her husband actually. He created an environment that allowed her to be questioned and disrespected ultimately.
I sat there listening and was pretty shocked as it unfolded. I would never have allowed to happen what she went through. I shared some of my beliefs in her and less about my anger. I didn’t project my own anger and issues onto her.
In fact, as I sat there, I realized I was shocked and triggered, but it didn’t spin me out. I didn’t feel a surge of anger. In fact, at one point, I felt anger rising and felt myself thinking of how to be angry in the situation and what to say, and then, like an almost audible switching sound went off in my head, and it was literally almost a physical sensation of realizing I don’t have to do this, be angry.
It felt like a gate switched close and one opened and it happened automatically. It was amazing and bizarre and beautiful.
I learned so much in that moment about all the things I’ve been trying to change and grow in.
I don’t have to protect everyone.
It’s better to speak truth than be angry about the other side of that thing (sometimes)
It’s better to always make sure you’re listening to the person and not projecting your anger into the situation.
People need to be loved and heard mostly, not saved.
I’ve learned these things intellectually so it felt really good to feel my body respond the way I wanted. None of it would have happened if we hadn’t been in a community setting tonight.