Seattle time. Then back home.
One of the best concerts ever, Seamus Egan Project backed by the symphony. Oh baby.
Then Sunday, more mom catastrophe. My brother and I ended up kidnapping her and taking her to the hospital. She was pissed. She checked out okay and was stable w/ her labs, and turns out, they can’t keep someone at the hospital if they are delusional. They have strict criteria for all that, and she didn’t pass.
In the room, we tried to talk to her about why we were there. We love you. You aren’t happy. We need to move you, and here’s why. She started crying as we left. She’s exhausted, somewhat hostage out there. It’s disgusting. Everyone is worried about her husband, and mom just hangs out all day inside for weeks at a time. We had to take the car away because of her dementia.
We took her to dinner and fleshed things out a bit more. She kept crying on and off, the thought of being able to move. I think she felt trapped, like, no one is paying attention. She was so emotional, thinking we were doing it for her. It’s been so hard as they haven’t been that easy to work with. She’s been stubborn. He’s been worse and not a good influence.
We took her home by about 9 pm. We had an impromptu family meeting. We laid out the plan, and I had a stare-down with my stepdad. This is what’s happening. It’d be great if you went along. Either way, Mom’s moving. These are retirement communities, and it’s what mom needs. It’s what she needed a couple years ago, but you’re just being a selfish bastard and not really aware at all of her needs.
Who knows why? Is he unaware, selfish or both? What I saw looking at me yesterday was a pissed off old man losing his power who wasn’t happy. I didn’t see any weaknesses, sadness or questioning. I just saw a mean old man.
I’ve been happy to give him grace knowing his childhood. All his brothers were alcoholics and died too young. Lots of trauma. I’ve tried to give him grace for that.
No more.
A week of facility tours is ahead. I hope it goes okay.
Gearhart, OR