These sayings:
I did nothing to create this situation
I cannot fix it
It is not a crisis
I am not at war and if I was, I have already won
There are no villains
I went out to Mom’s this morning to get her to sign something and find some forms. It was nice to not be so angry at her or anyone. I was calmer and it helped me find what I needed.
I’m looking forward to the time when I can just stop by to say hello, pay the bills and reduce all the drama. It’s going to happen.
Today I was able to get most of her medical paperwork into the property we’ve selected. It looks like there is a room for them and we are saving it for a month.
I feel humbled and disappointed again in myself. I continue to be willing to throw people under the bus: my parents, my step-sister. I talk about it endlessly. It’s like I’m fixated on being negative when many things in the situation are going well.
It goes back to my general disposition even as so many things are amazing in my life. it is a huge shift, and it’s hard to see how negative I’ve been for so long. I am sad for mom and her husband and family. This isn’t what he had planned, but I guess, it never was a great plan. They had some good years out there I guess, but it’s not been good for quite a while.
My anxiety has gone down significantly. My stomach is calming down. I stayed up late last night finishing my video for class because I knew I’d need today to get this paperwork done.
I’m tired of talking about myself.
I’m tired of being obsessed by my own thoughts and emotions.
I’m ready to be calm and centered, full of life and light, connected to God.
I’m ready to be able to be present for others and help others.
I’m ready to enjoy life and give back more.
I’m ready to try and live what I’ve preached, especially give people the benefit of the doubt.
I’m tired of being so judgmental, of being given much and still struggling to acknowledge that and then give back.