I have lived life more inductively I guess.
I have had to see what is happening and then adapt to it for the most part. I have had unique ideas and my own twist on many things, but largely, I have been reacting.
The idea of saying, “I want to do this now, or I want to set a goal and get better at this…”, that is a new concept for me. It’s getting less scary.
I listened to a story today on public radio. It was a story by a woman named Alexandria Rosas. It’s a story about how through a series of events, a young girl feels responsible for her father’s suicide.
After her father’s suicide, she doesn’t talk for five years.
Five years.
She doesn’t tell her story and why she felt the way she did until she was an adult. She wasn’t sure when she finally decided to tell it, what people would think.
It turns out, there are many similar stories around the world where people feel somehow they are responsible for someone else’s suicide.
She tells the story of one person who chose not to end her own life because of Alexandria’s story. She didn’t want to be leaving behind a son who would someday ask the same question Alexandria did: Was this my fault.
There have been several small signs this week, feeling divine presence and direction. I’ve been seeking signs and some kind of sense of direction as I need to keep making forward progress in some direction w/ my career.
This week, I feel the answer clearly has been to move toward writing. I want to start working back in art as well especially photography, but I can’t hide any longer from writing. It’s time.
This story… God/the divine… sometimes I need the 2x4 treatment. I think this was the third nudge this week but I can’t quite remember the first two. I just have felt them. Oh, one last night was Kelly Corrigan talking about telling her story and the humanness of her story that people resonate with. And something else.
So yeah.
Also tonight was our company holiday party. We had it at a big place in the valley that does bowling, arcade games, pool, food, etc.
It was pretty fun as far as parties goes. It was really nice to not have that one guy there that always flirted with me. Last year I remember he stuck around and walked me to the car and kept flirting with me. I have no idea what ever he was thinking. I’m a boss and married to the other boss. Anyway, he’s gone so that’s just another nice aspect to the company.
It was more expensive this year, but a good party overall. People really appreciated it it seemed and had fun.
I’ve learned alot over the years about what a good party is, especially a work party. It seems we’ve landed in a good spot.