Another drive to Moscow to see Kay.
Focus today was primarily on work-related stuff with these various staff members leaving.
Compassion has to start with you toward yourself. I’m not good yet at putting a voice to positive messages. It feels easier to say negative messages. Jesus on cross: everyone is worth love, all are worthy. Self-compassion at first feels wrong
Feel it together, Jay and I, the emotion of people leaving. We are handling things differently, less controlling and more relational.
We're accepting that people who are leaving are needing to leave. Like, it's also good for us that they're leaving. We’re doing serious shit, this isn’t a party. It's stressful but not horrible. People are treated respectfully. It's felt like somehow, with the people we hired, it became a party atmosphere, like we couldn't ask for the work they were hired to do. When your job’s a party, things fail and companies don’t succeed.
Like attracts like.
When frustrated and having to make decisions: process the emotion first then problem solve.
It's possible this is some of the very best advice on how to live that I've ever gotten.
Maybe if you're unable to fully process the emotion, you shouldn't be part of solving that problem. Maybe you're too wounded by whatever situation it is to be able to think clearly. Or maybe you will later. Either way, this is powerful to consider.
Finally, as we ended, we processed some of my time living at home while going to community college. If I'd had more support during that time, I could have lived differently, had more fun, moved out, built some confidence. The ongoing drama and illnesses at home drug me down. It wasn't the time for that.
As always, nuggets to ponder and put in my toolkit.