I stumbled around today feeling like a cipher.
I went and visited a colleague to ask about how he does sales. He seems to have revamped his company with a new sales approach that's working for him. I gleaned what I could, and he later forwarded me screenshots of their dashboards.
My soul feels deadened by most of this activity. I don't want to do it, I'm not that good at it, it feels ultimately fruitless, but there is no one else to do this, to keep the ball moving down the court in various directions. I try and stay engaged and listen, like in this conversation with my colleague, but I just don't have the passion or energy for it.
That, and with all that's happening with staffing at work, it feels mostly negative and overwhelming.
The best I can do is my small part, and hope somehow it all comes together. I don't see it, but I'll keep doing the next thing that appears that seems like something I should do to contribute. The list of what I'm doing keeps shrinking, thankfully, but I'm still responsible for several balls in the air.