A day back at home. Calm. Not depressed. Thinking about the epic trip we all just took and looking forward to next year for all kinds of reasons.
My Mom is not managing her diabetes well. She's having issues with taking her shots when she is supposed to. My step-sister is struggling with it all. I'll call her PA tomorrow as well as get some dementia helpers involved.
Everywhere around us, the older relatives are struggling: my Mom, step-dad and aunt. One aunt is off-the-grid, and I'm unable to help her. On Jay's side, his aunt is in and out of the ER and refuses to leave her home. His Mom has reached the breaking point to try and help her. Other relatives declined over the past several months including his sister's mother and father in-law.
The hike gave me chances to practice not being triggered. In the mountains, you're surrounded by the same people for several hours a day. You either get angry and stay angry, or you adapt and are healthier.
That health is translating to my life back here. I will help my parents again tomorrow with next steps. I have accepted where things are at. I don't know what will happen exactly and when, but the course is set. My Mom is convinced God gives them what they can handle, and this is part of God's plan. I couldn't disagree more, but that's not worth thinking about or debating.
I'm grateful for opportunities for growth like the mountain. That's what it was, a stretch. I stretched and grew. I hope that growth helps me and others.
*****
I'm taking a writing class on Coursera. I'm fascinated by the content. I've turned the story part of my soul off. I've focused on taking care of things, projects, events, companies, people.
I'm exploring what comes next. It will take years of hard work to become an accomplished writer. Will I ever make money? Will that time be worth it? What about my passion to help people stay involved in community, stay connected, be healthy, get into some kind of recovery. I hope it will become more clear as time goes on.