Therapy day in Moscow.
Highlights:
- Do what feels good to you that day for your meditative practice and physical movement. Some days it might be running, some days it might be a walk, yoga, tai chi or dancing. Let yourself be more present with yourself each day when you wake up and see what feels good. (Wait, what?? This is so confusing for a traumatized One. Where's the program and the "right" thing to do!? Ack!)
- The acupuncturist actually said the same thing this week when we were talking during my session, to take it easy with my practice and what feels good for meditation, that there are seasons and some things that work really well for a long time might just need to be adjusted over time or changed. I’ve noticed that with the different tools I’ve used and practices, that some things work for a while and others don’t. So the strong message here is one that is more oriented toward being kind to yourself, listening to your body
This is a bit new for me as I’ve had to just do this job at our company for so long, and it’s been so unfulfilling. That, and programmed childhood messages and the church. I’ve been grinding it out and the last thing I was doing was listening to myself.
And regarding emotions, we have primary and secondary emotions
Primary emotion: fear, anxiety
Secondary emotion: frustration, outbursts, reckless spending, etc. This is what is seen and we have a way of discussing this without ever getting to the real emotion. This reminds me of the emotion wheel.
Mindfulness approach for strong emotions
- Anchor your body in something that calms your nervous system, breath, sounds, smells, activities, etc.
- Combine that with the awareness of the emotion you’re actually feeling
- Keep taking the breaths, now name the emotion
o Don’t get hung up on the story
- Go back to the anchor and bring the emotion back in again
- The anchor brings you back to the window of tolerance and can open your mind back up
- Cycle and repeat this
Emotional storage and regulation:
- Emotions stored in the limbic system. Problem-solving is in the prefrontal cortex. It is not productive to problem solve when emotion is high. The brain will try and shut down the problem solving due to your high stress. If you force it, try and figure out what’s wrong, etc., while triggered/emotional, will spin and loop (OCD). OCD tendencies in this situation come from can from feeling threatened and still trying to problem solve your way out of the stressful situation.
- You need to calm your limbic system down before anything else positive can happen, any real problem-solving or recovery.
- If you try and control how people view you, this makes for crazy-making. Resisting this is part of your healing job; not optional; you think it is but it’s not.
This felt like a significant session. I learned a lot and recognized much of what she was talking about in my own life. I have much to process and digest. Then, practice!!
Always practice.
*****
Dinner with friends this evening who are involved in the community. He's a CEO of a large organization going through a pretty massive merger. Oh, and down-and-dirty insider stories are best served with wine and good food. Just sayin'.