You can't run until you can walk.
I always have wanted to run. From the get-go. I don't know why. I'm attracted to power, to getting things done, to having things.
I have struggled with the process of what it takes to get that. To get there. To do the hard work. I guess I've been lazy.
I'm recovering from adrenal fatigue. I wanted it to be over, like that. To not have to go to the depths and then coming back be a slow process.
I finally started having more energy in Hawaii. I took one of my last day naps there. I started to feel better, to stop napping, to start doing things again on a routine like laundry and groceries.
Then I started slowly exercising again, walking around the park, then walking around the neighborhood. Up the hills. It'd been a long time. I joined the Y, did a few circuits on the elliptical.
I started doing my intervals again. I want to be able to run a 5K in June. So I started running.
Today I realized, I haven't even walked a 5K in over a year. I did a long hike a few weeks ago from 57th down to 14th. I guess that's about 40 blocks, roughly 3 miles.
So maybe I need to start walking a 5K regularly and then start running once I'm comfortable with that.
That's not my norm. I do too much too fast then get injured or distracted. So for now, I'm walking every day. I need to increase it and then once I've got a walking routine down and I feel stronger, start running again.
Hard lessons to learn and at fifty, feel I should know this by now.
I'm directly comparing myself with some norm that doesn't exist. Not a great way to motivate myself.
Brene Brown talks alot about comparing and shame. “Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy," she says. Wow, isn't that the truth.
So on we go, and I keep learning. That takes energy in and of itself. I'm trying to change generational patterns. I need to remember that.