First meeting day and just so many surprises. So many.
Long story short, the President admitting he has a hard time raising money and struggled with business skills. Staff being hard to manage because they raise their own support and so they answer to their donors, not managers. Regional directors saying a full week is meeting with two people for a couple hours each.
I've always had existential dread about all of this. Today, it went up a notch. I can't believe the waste and the lack of integrity around work. I find it shocking, really.
The review went well. I kept my cool and focused on the basics. The reality is no one knows what to do with the President. It's pretty obvious he's not doing much. His best friend wants him to get a sabbatical, but no one understands why. Well, fundraising is stressful for him. Really?? Working hard is fucking stressful and absolutely no one I know gets sabbaticals. Not in the for-profit world.
I just don't know. I've said all along that the core of this organization was not formed well. No one has the energy or interest in searching out what needs to really change and changing it. It's the opposite actually; what's the minimum we can do?
I think of the money flowing to these so-called missionaries overseas and think of that money going to local food banks or homeless shelters. Instead it feels a lot like it's funding a cross-cultural exchange program for white Americans who want a quirky European experience.
Their churches don't tend to really get off the ground or flourish in any meaningful way. The people who are successful would probably do so without this organization. So what's it's point then again? People over the years have found these questions frustrating.
When the President was asked what's the one question he dreads someone asking him, he said it is why are no churches being planted. This was immediately after the discussion that no one is truly working hard. I commented what felt like the obvious, which was, maybe no churches are being planted because no one is working.
I just don't feel good about a lot of the guts of how this thing operates. I don't know how my final term will look. Right now, it feels obligatory.