We spent the weekend doing more work than either of us wanted to.
The wedding is pressing in, and I'm realizing w/ the two weeks I had to take off serious work due to my burn, I feel behind, I feel some pressure.
Some things I can let go, some we can't.
I'd say it was okay going through our list of projects together, not great. We both are still massively triggered by the other one, especially around projects or working together I guess. Watching Jay's bio dad in action confirms what I've been trying to communicate for years or have felt for years; solid, wonderful person missing definite skills around awareness and empathy.
My anxiety pushes me to try and get someone, anyone, to engage. I have standards that are sometimes too high though have felt gaslighted about almost everything I've felt we've needed to do over the years for holidays, the house, etc. It seems travel is one area we tend to agree on in terms of what we like or the scale and scope.
The puppers was also sick w/ kennel cough thanks to the place I took her to get groomed. So I was battling anxiety about her being too sick for the wedding, etc.
Highlights:
- I had some solidly positive and upbeat days last week. I felt I conquered anxiety fairly well on quite a few days and can see the light of not being anxious
- Good writing time
- Burn mostly healed
- Less anxiety around parents
Next week:
- Create solid plan for remaining wedding items to be done
- Avoid tension w/ hubs on any topic
- Get good rest
- Keep expectations realistic
Spokane, WA