Sometimes, a reality check comes in the form of a toddler.
I've had rose-colored glasses on just a bit as my daughter gets married. Our little tribe represents a wonderfully happy group of people. Marriage represents a change, even a good change.
I've been reminiscing about days when they were younger, when we are all together hanging out at the house. Those days have been long gone for years now.
Last weekend, I spent just a day w/ the two granddaughters of my friend. Today we spent three hours watching a friend's two-year old.
Even after just a few hours, I remember the familiar feeling of wanting a break, free time, anything. And these are amazing kids, kids I wanted to be with.
This made me remember the long days of hard work of being a full-time parent to young, active kids. It made me remember how I longed for the free-time I have now. It reminded me of a trait I have that I'm trying to change, one where things are more black and white than they really are.
In reality, it's challenging to pull off a perfect balance in relationships. It often seems that you have all or nothing, too much or too little time. Peter Rollins says you're always vacillating between pain and boredom. Acceptance and maturity help me get through the awkwardness of life these days, as much or little as I have each day.
All this time with little kids, it reminded me that I like little kids, that I actually miss time with kids. It also reminded me that long days full of kids, day after day, is challenging for literally anyone. It's just hard, tiring work. Rewarding often, but tiring. It reminded me that I love my solitary time and am probably enjoying the freedom I have now more than I realize.
In reality, the girls left seven and eight years ago to go to college, and four years when they both secured full-time work. We've transitioned well and a wedding is another stage of life for our healthy family. I've needed to explore the range of emotions that it's bringing up and this is where I'm at for now.
Happy, sad occasionally, excited.