I went to the dentist today and tried laughing gas for the first time. Nothing like hydrocodone or whiskey, but slightly relaxing. I needed another crown.
#aging
No work meetings, no stress. Date night only okay. All this underlying tension that never goes alway. Will we ever get rid of it? Will our marriage ever be easier?
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever work again. When I think my energy is coming back, I realize, "I couldn't work full-time right now." I don't think I realize the load it takes to come out of the type of depression I was in.
Am I disabled? I wondered that the other day. I should have taken out disability insurance. I wonder what you have to do to prove you need to make a claim. "My Dad was crazy, my husband has Aspergers, so does one of my daughters, my other daughter almost drown and has sensory integration and hyperactivity issues, my Mom is also crazy. Can I qualify for benefits?"
Denied.
That'd be my guess.
Show me the wounds and scars, the doctor's report, then you can get some benefits. Otherwise, you look fiiiiine to us.
Yep, I do look fine. That's been part of the problem.
I look fine. I act normal. I'm highly functional. And my soul has been crumbling for years.