I had lunch with a friend today. What's it like to heal from trauma? she asked.
The analogy of addiction came to mind. "Yes, that's it," I told her. "I feel like I'm on the other end of an addiction recovery, in the part where you are no longer addicted, but have a mess of a life to put back together again."
I mentioned that as the trauma fades, there are gaps where dysfunctional patterns used to be. An entire ecosystem of living develops around traumatic events. You learn to respond certain ways. You move and eat certain ways. You relate to people in specific, usually unhealthy ways.
The energy of this entire system runs on adrenaline. Giving that up can feel like somethings wrong, almost boring, lazy or irresponsible. Adrenaline acts like a drug in your system; I'm adjusting to not having it there.
Wars are won and then lost again when the mess left behind cobbles together something worse than the original enemy.