Had coffee with a dear friend on her birthday at a favorite coffee shop. Felt special that she asked to spend time together on her day on her own. We talked for two hours and it felt effortless.
I had another chiro appointment and asked how it was that a chiropractor's office was doing muscle release techniques. She said one of the owners saw it done by a team doc for the college team she works with. She's been intrigued and brought it to their practice. My life is being changed by people like that, who see something that can be better and pursue it. (Podcast idea??)
They are doing muscle release on my pelvis and now upper back as well. Apparently my mid and upper traps aren't firing either so it's all messed up. I'm amazed at all the changes my poor body is going through, but these are absolutely incredible changes. I feel like I'm on the cutting edge of how bodies are now being treated in a better way. I feel deeply, deeply grateful for these gifted providers who are helping people have a greater quality of life. My depression I know is linked to my physical health. After almost thirty years of repeated surgeries and various therapy options, I feel like it's possible I'm going to finally get to where I can function without pain medicine and stay stable and healthy on my own.
*****
In the afternoon I went to Dania to check-out furniture for the new space. I was so winded and tired, I had to sit down. I don't know if it's recovery from this bug, all this body work, the low white blood cell count. It was scary. I had a hard time walking up the stairs. I was going to do a lot more but just decided to quit. I went to the bookstore and found a small gift for KT, got that wrapped and mailed, then took a nap. Talked w/ step-sis about our folks for an hour then headed to the birding talk at the museum.
Birds have two lungs that operate independently of each other and two separate chambers in their voice box. They are literally singing two songs at the same time, constantly harmonizing and changing songs as they go. Each species of birds is different when it comes to their calls, songs and sounds. Some birds only have a set song or songs and that's all they do. Some are called song learners and have a large repetoirre of songs and they all sing them together then will go onto the next song.
All of this has to do with staying connected with other birds, notifying certain birds of things, mating, dominance, territory, etc. Some just like to sing, like dolphins love to play! I just love it all and am enjoying getting nerdy about birds.
*****
Went to bed early after getting Jay at the airport. He said he was depressed and had a hard day in the Midwest visiting new and current clients. He went with our new sales person and sounds like that went well, but he just is struggling on several fronts. He says he feels he works really hard but doesn't get anywhere. I know he works very hard so that's not the issue. It could be there are elements of his work that aren't what's best for him. I don't know, but I know I think he's amazing and I want him to be happy and fulfilled. I know the last several years were literally hell for both of us. I'm not sure we've fully recovered. I don't know why we did it for so long, but now we've moved on. I don't know what's ahead and I hope whatever it is, it will make him feel satisfied, fulfilled and happy.
*****
A few more learned things about having adult children: I had written a blessing for KT's bday and rereading it, it was so heavy-handed. It was like I was writing it for a class. One thing I'm determined to do more of is what do my kids actually want or need? What are they like, right now, not I remember from when they were kids, projections of myself onto them, what I secretly wish they did, etc. It has been hugely validating to have a few people in my life that know and love me as I am and get me as I am. That's what I want to be for my adult kids.
So I chopped it all up, made it about 1/3 the length, more light-hearted and more like her. I also bought something related to video games instead of a somber book on trees that would have been a nice tie-in with my original, somber blessing. Bleh. I hope it's a better version than what I'd planned, but I'm still learning. They are patient. Also just sending more money and flowers, fewer gifts.
Another lesson: they don't like to really talk over text. They send short little comments about things and you need to reply with a few more short comments and that's it. When they stop texting, it doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you. It means that's all they wanted to do. So just respond and follow their lead, rarely ask open-ended questions. Think about the most annoying thing my Mom would do with texting and make sure I'm not doing some version of that, namely, being needy that you have this window of time to slide in every possible question or thing you've been thinking about and here's your opportunity. (What's your week been like? Are you sleeping well? You weren't sleeping well last time we talked. How's your new boss? Are you still going to that tequila bar on Thursdays with your co-workers? Is that what you call each other, co-workers? Is there some millennial term you use instead? If so, what is it? Can I use it or is that weird? And do any of them drink too much? That's not a great influence, just saying. I love you!)