Today is a relative’s birthday that I don’t have a relationship with.
This individual has made it clear that they are hostile to me and to our family.
I’ve sent her a birthday card each year in hopes that might keep some kind of bridge open.
At the wedding this summer, this individual did not want to be there. It was obvious and this person left the reception just a bit after it started. I have no idea what arrangements this person made with the partner in the marriage in terms of what they could handle and couldn’t.
So I realized, this is insanity. Forcing a card on a person that doesn’t like me. This isn’t reality.
I also let two other birthdays this week go that’s I’ve been honoring for years, one for decades.
I continue to read and to believe that you only have so much energy and time in a day. How am I spending it? I’ve been giving a lot of mine away to people who don’t return it and don’t care.
Sometimes, I think I’ve kept myself busy to stay distracted. If I have too much time on my hands, I have to really face that I need to be moving on with my own creative projects.
At any rate, I’m focusing down on the relationships I want to maintain and those I don’t.
I guess at 52, you can still take big steps of growing up.
In other news, flew home from Arizona, dried apples, went to work and got ready to turn around and head to Seattle.
PS I might send this person a card in 2019. It still feels weirdly wrong. No it doesn’t. Yes. It does. Nope. Yep. Noooooo… ? Yessssss…..??? No.