At times I wonder what we're saving our time for.
I have wished I didn't have a yard. We have a small yard by American standards but it takes time to maintain the basics of even a smallish yard, maybe 3-4 hours a week. Wouldn't it be nice to have that time?
I was out weeding and planting for several hours yesterday. I just zoned out, dug holes, moved bricks, planted some shrubs, spread bark around. When I was done, the results were deeply satisfying and bonus points, my head was clear.
My mind gets tired.
My mind gets tired of the constant barrage of information, even all good information, good stories, good input. And yesterday I was reminded that being human is a balance of inputs and outputs. Thinking all the time, learning all the time, being entertained all the time - just living in your head - it's out of balance. I was refreshed yesterday by being outside and by working hard. Who knew? (Aside from all the mystics and wisdom teachers across all of time. Aside from them).
We have someone mow our lawn, and I'm quite grateful for that actually. It's more about our marriage sanity than a lack of desire or ability to do it. But where does the desire to offload chores and responsiblities stop, aside from the obvious cost issue. I have to ask myself that honestly. Why am I driving to remove these basic life responsibilities, and what would I do instead? What would I honestly do instead? And is it "better?"
Viktor Frankl talks about how a sense of meaning or purpose being critical to human flourishing, especially in times of stress. How interesting that if allowed, I could create a reality where I'm free from basic chores and responsibilities, and in it's place, I inherit ennui and spiritual poverty. It's possible. It's possible, and I think it's happening all around me and to me.
My fingernails have dirt under them and I have yet to clean it out, the dirt than triggered an epiphany.
I have much to ponder.