The kids left for Seattle today, headed home. They feel strongly they have two homes. I'm glad this is one of them.
Now I am slowly going through the house and putting things away. New things to put away, old things that came out go back in boxes. Leaves in tables get taken down, extra chairs put away, decorations sorted.
Some of our life returns to a preholiday state and some does not. For example, our large dining room table keeps a leaf in these days, because we have groups over for meals and games. We still serve food to a lot of people. So not everything changes. I think if this was the highlight of my year, I'd be pretty sad right now.
I love the convergence of people around the holidays. Kids come home for Christmas and wander into our house at some point. We end up grabbing beers with people we only see annually. That feels pretty special.
I guess someone has to ask at some point if it's worth it. I guess the question of "it" has to be defined. If It means eating good food, having fun, making time for people, taking in the sites and sounds unique to the holidays, yeah, it's what life is about. If it means the commercial insanity of the winter holidays, no, it's quite awful actually to get sucked up into all that and not actually have quality time where you're not exhausted with people.
This year, I felt more relaxed than possibly any year in the past. We had a full day with each side of the family with only one day in between. My reactivity continues to diminish and I set better boundaries. Everyone helped and we stayed calm. Each day turned out to be quite special without any drama. Kay mentioned that it seemed this year we adapted well and keep getting better at holidays.
As a result, that helped our holidays retain more of the qualities I love with less tension.
I'll be fine when the holidays wind down but for now, I'm just enjoying the glow of continuing to understand what it's all about.