Adult children of childhood abuse frequently have persistent mental and physical health issues. These findings have been repeatedly validated by various studies, and I have seen this pattern play out in my own life.
I started having serious health issues in high school, and they continued long after moving out on my own. The issues were real but were being caused largely by stress. This is not the same as, "It's in your head."
Chronic stress weighs down and toxifies your body. Your end up with a compromised immune system as well as damage to key organs. Stress also makes you more inclined to unhealthy activities (excessive drinking, smoking, etc.) and less inclined to healthy ones (exercise, healthy eating, etc.) All of this takes a toll as the years roll by and the pattern continues (another reason to view health holistically along with robust mental health benefits for all).
I was in college the first time someone clued me into this. I was in the ER yet again for intense pelvic pain related to my period. I finally got a painkiller shot and the pain started to fade.
The doctor that was rounding that day stopped by my bed. He asked me some basic questions, went through a normal exam and then said, "Have you ever seen a counselor? You know, a therapist?"
I was like, "Wait what? A counselor? Dude, it's my pelvis. My uterus. That's what needs attention right now, not my head."
He reiterated that he thought it might be good for me to get some counseling. I thanked him, said I really appreciated his help (and the drugs!) and would keep that in mind.
Or not.
As he walked out I was like, Hell no, we're not buying this load of counseling bullshit
However, this same scenario played itself out in a similar fashion several times over the next few years. It kept happening. "Have you considered seeing someone? Have you ever seen a therapist? What would you think of seeing a counselor?"
Finally, about twenty-five years ago, six months before I got married, I started seeing someone. It had nothing to do with my health; I just started to slowly fall apart in other ways.
Unfortunately, the emotional damage was significant and over the years, I've had a lot of health issues. I ended up getting a hysterectomy due to the endometriosis that loved my warm, pelvic body cavity. It seems there's a connection between chronic stress and autoimmune diseases like endometriosis.
It's only been since I've started EMDR and Lifespan that I can tell a difference in my health and how I respond to getting sick.
For one, I don't get sick anymore. I have some lingering issues related to the chronic stress over the years, but I think they will get resolved.
When I occasionally get a bug, I just breeze through it. I was sick earlier this week, and surprisingly, just took it in stride.
When I'd get sick before, it would also bring on a lot of depression. I'd feel awful about myself. I'd retreat and feel like a hermit. I'd be confused, down, stressed. It made it seem like what was bad was infinitely worse. My brain repeatedly told me how awful I was, how weak, how sick.
This time, I was sick and that was it. It didn't mess with my head. I didn't even have to fight it. I realized I'd be fine. I realized everyone gets little bugs once in a while.
I knew I'd be fine in a few days so didn't go through and cancel everything like I usually do.
I knew the house wouldn't fall apart.
I knew I'd clean up and get things back to normal.
I knew I wouldn't spend the rest of the week recovering from a 24-hour bug.
I knew other people in town probably had the same bug I did.
I knew I was normal.
I knew I was getting better even while I was sick.
I knew I was getting better even while I was sick.
I KNEW I WAS GETTING BETTER EVEN WHILE I WAS SICK.
I realized being sick is a normal part of life.
I realized being home sick for a day is normal.
I was sick AND I WAS NORMAL.
Is this a big deal? Yes, this is a big deal.
And it calls for a celebration.