The older I get, the more amazed I am at the delay in feelings and memories.
We had a great weekend with our friends. Four days and evenings. We played games, went swimming a lot, walked, ate out, ate in, made some food, laughed and chatted, went to the zoo, bought books, went to the grocery store. Just lived in their life for a few days.
During the weekend, it was relaxing. I wouldn’t say I was over the moon happy but I was really relaxed and enjoyed the break. I didn’t come down exhausted like I used to when I traveled so I could actually enjoy myself.
Now though as I’m home, I’m enjoying reflecting on the trip overall. It’s fun to remember all we did and how relaxing it was. As the time went on, their daughter grew more comfortable with us as happens when it’s been a while. She was glad we were there, and that means a lot to me. We don’t see her much, and I assume she will eventually not be interested in us over time. I’m glad that hasn’t happened yet.
Back in town, I had photo class and another group assignment. I’m glad we get a break to work on getting our notes together and figuring out how to submit the files and analysis for each of us. I was concerned about my camera not having enough battery life and also lost the cord. Our group also didn’t check out the studio on time so last night, I had to figure that out. I didn’t get too stressed which helped a lot with thinking more clearly.
I hung out in the new space and enjoyed the ottomans and side tables that came in. It’s a comfortable place, and I’m trying to relax and enjoy it.
*****
I will say that some of the changes I’m making are making a significant difference in my mental health and state of being. Primarily, being physically active with the swimming, being around people, being creative and stretching and learning, making progress toward some new state of being in life. I am slowly starting to feel more secure in myself and less fractured like I was feeling when we went on our trip.
Overall, I don’t think it’s ideal to be in therapy alone without making some other changes related to your health that are more physical like walking or being with people. I have found that you can get neurotic with your thoughts just swirling around and around. It’s not good. I sort of plateaued then just started to spin around and around in my head. I just needed things to start getting better and more real. The biggest change for me has been signing up for a class and having to go to a building twice a week and have responsibilities again tied to the $750. It’s very motivating.
I’m three years into therapy and four years into the overall spiritual evaluation time. I would say this has been a big discovery, that body changes and social changes really need to accompany your therapy processing and analysis.
Lots to keep learning.