I am celebrating my last day of being 50.
We attended a dinner with civic and business leaders trying to woo companies into keeping jobs here and creating others. View and location, food, all amazing. As always though, not super interesting to me, the topics.
Tonight then, I went to the park, sat under a full moon, smoked a small cigar, just listened and observed and focused on being. Not much thinking. Just shut my mind down. I love this time of year. Jupiter is huge.
A lot of messages coming to me about how small I am in the world but deeply loved. The paradox. Love isn’t small; love is outrageously big but I’m small. I’m only here on this ancient planet for 100 years or so. Most of what’s around me, I inherited from the work of others, 99% of whom not only do I not know, I don’t even know their names. If that’s not humbling, what else is. The planets, the planes flying, all of it, I am benefiting from but didn’t contribute to.
All I can do is to do my best and do my part. That’s what I can do and what a lot of others did as well before me. There is more good here than bad; I still believe that.
For my next decade, I hope my small contributions continue, to myself, the people and causes I love. I hope I have strength to heal myself fully and to represent love however that looks, with whomever that is.
Tall order for a birthday day.
Or not.
Not really.
I know in the long run, it's the path of life.
It really is.