Jay ended up getting sick, probably due to stress, something he admits.
He was really sick, like achy and with a fever. So far, he's the only one.
We did disc golf one day, and biking and hiking the next. Scattered throughout were video game marathons, good eating and cooking together, walks and talking. We drove around a bit to check the area out. Overall, pleasant.
KT brought her hammock which I think she likes to do to give herself an automatic, cocooned space just to herself. It helps with her need for privacy and some body pressure. I'm glad we're all different while also being the same. I'm glad we feel (mostly) in this family that we can express what we need and be heard.
Saturday I helped make a shish kabob dinner that KT suggested. It was a good idea. It helped us all make food together and everyone helped. We pulled it off. I was mostly not mad at Jay but occasionally a little bit even though he was sick.
After dinner, I went on a walk and then decided I wanted to be outside more. I realized I didn't need to pressure the family into doing what I wanted, but that I could also leave and do something I wanted alone to do.
I went down and ‘found’ Lake Cle Elum. I sat and smoked a cigar and did the first mindfulness exercise in a book a friend gave me: Sit and look around until the 'you' disappears. I tried to stop thinking and just take it all in. Observe. Notice. Call and name things that were happening. It was really special. I’m glad I was alone and got to enjoy the beauty. It made it easier to be thankful. I spent time being thankful for all that is in my life and all that is coming. The cigar was fun too that I found a little market on the way home with cheap wine, cigars and chocolate chip cookies. Bonus.
One thing that crossed my mind while out there was that with kids, you have to let it come together and you have to do new things. Being together isn’t about doing what you always used to do together; it’s about going forward and doing and trying new things while maintaining what's true.
That seems pretty important.
Overall, I enjoyed the morning runs and coffee. I loved the river nearby and just time to relax together without being on a huge schedule. I appreciated all of us cooking and not feeling like it all fell on me all the time. I loved my small bouquet of wildflowers on the kitchen counter. I loved that we talked about what we wanted in advance, and this mostly fit the bill.
It's always hard to part ways after time together, but I feel restored, once again.
Back to reality on Monday.
Highlights:
- Time with kids
- Not completely crashing when work keeps bottoming out
Next week:
- Stay focused on what I need to do to be healthy
Cle Elum River, WA