I used to win races, spike volleyballs, hit golf balls, snow ski, XC ski. All that changed two years ago.
The depression crippled me. The adrenal fatigue made hiking, even small hikes, relatively impossible. The last two years, I barely made it to the cabin, let alone up the glacier. Last year, I made it to the meadow below the glacier but just barely.
Yesterday, not only did I make it to the small cabin and meadow, I made it to the toe of the glacier, about 3/4th of the time, vertical climbing.
We traversed our way along the moraine left by the glacier as it receded millions of years ago. We finally popped over the top and there it was, a flat rocky area at least an acre in size, perfect for eating lunch and surveying the climb up the mountain next to the glacier.
Exhilarated, we sat down to eat our traditional hiking lunches of dried fruits, veggies, meat and crackers. We stared at the mountain and watched other members of our party begin their ascent up the front, back and forth across a snowfield. They climbed higher and higher, their dots becoming smaller as they ascended.
I checked in with my soul. Am I disappointed I'm not climbing further? I sat there with my husband, daughter and younger friend, all who made the decision to not climb further. We laid on the rocks and caught some rays. We explored the pools full of clear, blue water. We took photos.
In parting, we all glanced at our friends then began our descent. No, I thought. I am amazed that two years ago, I was napping most afternoons. Today I climbed over a thousand feet.
The afternoon hike back down contained another adventure as we lost the main trail and had to traverse above the trail in the valley below, ultimately connecting back up with the main route. Back at the cabin, we chatted with people and read, played games and snacked.
But no napping.
The old me definitely died today as I hit the goal I had. Next year, I hope the glacier is in my future. We'll see. I will take what comes and not rest my identity on that goal.
But I will pursue it.
(Interestingly, this is the first time I've used Self-Confidence as a tag in two years of blogging.)
*****
Today, we did the Sapphire Lakes hike again. Usually, on the last day, I take it easy. This year, I pushed it. We hiked back up in record time as I was following my very athletic friend. We went down the back way which is intriguing and more interesting. It was rewarding.
In the evening, we did our group photo and played games. One of the people played their guitar. The hut attendant has become a dear friend and gave us a gift.
Riches. I'm rich!