So this is what I do each day.
I wake up and listen to a meditation on the topics that keep me strong, keep me grounded, keep me connected to God, which I don’t believe is a construct or something that was created to keep us all organized.
By then I’m pretty excited that I get to get out of bed and make my bed. There’s something about making a bed that feels complete. It’s an adult thing to do. It leaves a room happy for the end of the day which is one of my favorite times of day. Right up there with getting up and making the bed. So see, we’re already off to a good start.
Being awake means I get to hug my main human and canine companions. Another win! A quick check on weather, bio break, and warm beverages to get started.
I might need to have breakfast with my human to talk about work stuff.
This past Saturday, we helped Jay’s mom move. We moved all of her furniture from her current house in a gated community down to an apartment complex managed by Catholic Charities that's very nice. It shares a large parking lot with a parish. It's off an older, upscale boulevard. She finds it very humorous her address is this street as she grew up very poor. Kids at her school that lived on this street were the rich, popular kids. Life is strange.
We rented a UHaul, a dev from work helped as well as her grandson and myself, and we got most of the furniture moved. She had been working on moving things all week long in her car w/ her grandson.
As the pieces were getting moved into the house, I cleaned and polished them all. She had this great polish that has some color in it so it really made them look amazing. They are now clean and shiny and not dirty. It’s pretty sweet.
We also had breakfast before we got started on the move up at Hogans.
After we moved and returned the truck, we ate at Wisconsin Burger, all five of us. The puppers was roaming around with us the whole day too.
There were some things already set aside for the thrift store, and so I looked through those and noticed she had several old English candy tins. I took all three of them and kept one for myself and two for the girls for bdays. (They loved getting them).
After lunch, went home and worked on my photo album from NZ. I’m starting to get the hang of it and enjoy figuring out how to put them all together.
That was such a wonderful day. It felt so good to be connected to our family in a healthy way and to help my mother-in-law out. She is super excited to be in her new place. She just loves it.
It was a day without real stress or tension. Jay and I are getting along so much better as we both get healthier. It was probably the first week in years I can remember without sadness or depression or anger or depression. Jay said it’s the first weekend he can remember where I wasn’t upset by work stuff or whatever.
We’ve had a long road to healing. I wonder why it’s taken so long.
It feels like things are coming together but I still think all the time about life. I can’t believe I’m alive on most days. I feel blissed out by that so often that I have a hard time being motivated to do more. I am sort of working all day just processing being alive. To be distracted from that feels painful at times. I am hoping I can find faster, cheaper ways to make a living so I can write more poetry and reflect on life more. I don’t mean to do much, just be aware and a witness to the wonderfulness of living.
So thanks God for our family. Thanks for to my mother-in-law being determined to love us all equally and with intention. She is a wonderful, wonderful person that I am so grateful to know and be in her family. It is easy to honor her.
As we helped her move in, she definitely has some things that mean a lot to her, mostly older antique pieces from her grandmothers. Her wooden bed. A small glass cabinet. The hope chest. Things like that. Her clothes are simple. She has some older recliners and the basics in the kitchen. She lives a simple life. She loves her paper: stationary, stamps, etc. She likes being in charge of her daily life and is very independent still. We’re hoping as she gets around more people, that she’ll be able to be more social and more active. I think she’s been really missing that.
So that’s what excites me. Fires, my mother in law, reconnecting with Jay, buying gifts for the girls, being outside, photos of trips and cultures that are new, good food, bodies. I often feel that isn’t enough, that I’m not pursuing enough. I don’t know how to write more and also study more so I can write and speak on these things, that these are such critical building blocks of society and for real flourishing and happiness.
On the fires, it's been a fun thing to do this winter. I took the old candle holder to the thrift store. i don't know that it's great to have the floo open when there isn't a fire, but the hygee factor is high with fires in the winter, fo sho.
We leave for Cali in a few days for the board meeting. Not excited to leave, but always happy to see people. Just mostly meetings this time, and not much play time. We'll see. Starting to pack.