Up and down.
Yesterday was an awful day to return to home. Or I guess it was just an awful day. Lots of pelvic pain, lots of wondering about my life.
The hard part about pain; it keeps you from being productive. You spend considerable time, often all your waking time, managing it in some way or another. You just can’t focus on much else.
I hung in there, didn’t take pain meds, tried all sorts of things. It didn’t get better, and I ended the day crying. I did get a few basic things done, but felt too tired for much of anything. I did manage to get the garage door at Home Depot.
It was not a pretty errand. I wasn’t super planned, had to use string to tie down the back door, but I didn’t get angry as I so often do. I just kept going and doing it and it got done and the door got home. I did it all myself.
Today was a different story. I got quite a bit done this morning in the kitchen. I moved quite a lot around, got rid of things and feel amazing about it all. I emptied the fridge and am getting some food in the fridge and freezer now to eat better. My friend in CA was an incredibly inspiration to me. I’m amazing at all she’s done to make her life healthy and organized. I was inspired.
The clean and organized kitchen made me feel much better. I went to a concert w/ my parents that they love doing and enjoyed that with them. I enjoyed the poetry and the photography more than the music honestly. But I enjoyed helping them have a beautiful moment of music and beauty that they couldn’t have had without me. Even my step-dad commented on it.
So I end this day w/ beautiful thoughts about redemption and new beginnings in the middle of pain.
Laguna Nigel, CA